5 reasons why business writing is so boring

Would anybody read business writing if they didn’t have to?

I doubt it.

Why torture ourselves reading the deplorably bland and self-serving tripe that infects virtually every business website, blog, annual report, marketing brochure, press release, ad infinitum.

Does anybody really understand the junk business “writers” produce by the mitt full? Why is it so dense and impenetrable? Why do so many companies sound alike? Why can’t a company actually have a personality and sound human instead of institutional?

The reasons are probably legion, but here are five leading causes why 98 percent of all business writing basically sucks.

1. Business people regard the written word as formal (as opposed to the spoken word, which is regarded as casual). Once we go into the formal mindset the resulting writing is choked with stuffy words and phrases. This causes the writer to distance himself from readers, rather than embracing them. We sound like we’re addressing the Queen of England rather than everyday customers, prospects, investors and vendors. Why do we attempt to innovate with products and services, yet not with our communication?
2. Companies try to sound like one another. It’s the safe path, we think. In reality, the safer – and successful path – is to sound different than our competitors or we fail to differentiate ourselves. Originality in communication is the stuff legendary advertising and marketing campaigns are made of. So why don’t we extend that principle to the rest of our external and internal communication?
3. They get caught up in company-speak. You know you’re in trouble when you start believing and spouting your own bullshit. Sadly, that’s orthodoxy at most companies. Instead of writing like people talk, they glut their copy with industry parlance, clichés, acronyms, sales pitches and esoteric phrases. They talk about “core competencies,” “synergies,” “software solutions,” “thinking outside the box,” “no brainers” and other inanities. Who really talks like that? Not our customers or investors, so why do we?
4. They underestimate the negative impact bad writing inflicts on their business and brand. Companies worry mightily about poor presentation skills among their sales or business development teams, yet they completely overlook how poorly the companies’ many teams or divisions are presenting themselves in writing. That is catastrophic because writing is the fundamental communication skill that feeds all other communication channels. Consider that PowerPoint presentations, speeches, webcasts, training videos, podcasts, etc., begin (and often end) in written form. Bad writing skills contaminate all facets of a company’s communication.
5. Business doesn’t hire professional writers, or train their people how to write with proficiency. Instead, they dish out lots of scratch for people who allegedly know how to manage, sell or innovate. But how effective are people who don’t really know how to communicate? How many business initiatives never see the light of day – not because they aren’t good ideas, but because they were never conveyed in accurate, clear language that decision-makers could understand and rally around? Remember, all business initiatives must eventually (usually immediately) be turned into a written document. If it isn’t in writing it simply doesn’t exist.

Not all companies are clueless about bringing some color and verve to their written communication. Here are a few examples of organizations that get it.

This first example comes from Peter Shankman, who founded and runs the website Help a Reporter Out. This is the start of an email message he sent to subscribers.

“Why do I put video of me falling out of planes online? It’s essential to my brand. Seriously. Forrester says video raises click-through rates up to 200%. And here’s the thing: It’s not hard to do, if you use this new technology we call Pixability.”

This lead paragraph is from the Britain-based consulting firm Eyeful Presentations’ sassy blog and appears under the headline, It can happen to the best of us…

Technical gremlins are a devious bunch.  They choose their moments carefully, conspiring to cause maximum discomfort and embarrassment, and after what I’m sure was months of planning and hard work, they have recently achieved something of a coup d’état.

Technical gremlins pulling off a coup d’état?One can hardly not read on to find out the consequences of exactly what happened.

Headphone manufacturer Skullcandy puts its attitude on display with this piece of writing.

Skullcandy is a leading audio brand that reflects the collision of the music, fashion and action sports lifestyles. Our brand and distinctive logo symbolizes youth and rebellion, and embodies our motto, “Every revolution needs a soundtrack.”

This statement is from the investor relations page of Skullcandy’s website, which is about the last place you would expect to find a tone this brassy.

What a difference a flamboyant or original voice makes.

What is your company putting in writing?

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